3 Signs That Netflix Loves Me More Than Ass Monkey Does

My belief that there is nothing on the telly has recently been confirmed.

As we are (yes, STILL) living with my parents while the house renovation work goes on (and on), we are subject to their own telly-watching habits.

Let me be clear: they have ALL the channels – every last one of them – and yet, every evening pre and post news hour, they flick through pages and pages of offerings from television stations and never land on a single one.

‘Nothing on!’ they’ll grumble, and I wholeheartedly agree. Except for maybe Graham Norton, Celebrity Juice and oh my GOD I loved Bridget and Eamonn on RTE 2 recently.

My folks go to bed nice and early and so we scramble for the remote to get Netflix on. Lovely, soothing, reliable Netflix. They won’t mess you around with ads or re-runs of Keeping Up With The Kardashians so that you’re completely confused as to whether Scott is on or off the scene…oh no.

Netflix has your back. Netflix just started showing AB FAB.

I might be a little bit in love with Netflix, you see, and I believe that it might be a little bit in love with me. I think that my Netflix relationship may be stronger than my other relationship – you know, with that Ass Monkey guy that I’m planning on marrying this year. Here’s why:

1. Netflix Doesn’t Judge

Ok, Ass Monkey doesn’t REALLY judge me either, but would he raise an eyebrow if I wanted to re-watch every single episode of Orange Is The New Black before Season 4 premiers on June 17th? Yes he would. Would Netlix? No, Netflix would let me do my thang.


2. Netflix Doesn’t Interrupt

Ass Monkey has that habit of either speaking, or rustling some packet or other at high volume, right at the pivotal part of a movie or programme. Imagine, you’re on the last episode of Season 4 of House of Cards. You sat on the edge of your seat for every other one, marvelling at how Claire can look like that when she acts like THAT.. you have just reached the final thirty seconds and himself pops his head in with a ‘I’m just heading out for a pint ok?’ SHADDAP I’M WATCHING MY SHOWS!!


3. Netflix Has Ab Fab

I feel like this decision was made by Netflix to satisfy me personally. I feel like Netflix knows how much I have ever loved Ab Fab and did it because Netflix loves me too and wants me to be happy. In contrast, Ass Monkey recently asked me if I’d like to watch a documentary with him about the potential existence of alien life form in our solar system. Yep. He doesn’t know me AT ALL.



I am part of the Netflix Stream Team and I received a years free subscription and an Apple TV in return for reviews and updates on what we watch.

One thought on “3 Signs That Netflix Loves Me More Than Ass Monkey Does

  1. The Sandwich Years by Alana Kirk

    I hear you! Netflix and Apple got me through the last year of my marriage breakup – yep, I’ve down the full all-series gorge of Nashville, Scandal, House of Cards, Falling Skies and now I’ve come late to the Game of Thrones party but sill dancing….. We all would like a man who loves us, but I prefer a TV that adores me.

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