Tag Archives: Maureen The Midwife

Maureen The Midwife Talks Vaginas (Or Does She?!)

One of my favourite things about working at HerFamily was bringing ‘Maureen The Midwife’ to life.

If you are or have ever been pregnant and attended an antenatal class at one of our nation’s fine maternity hospitals, then you may have encountered a ‘Maureen’.

She wouldn’t be great on tact, our Maureen, nor answering questions from nervous soon-to-be-in-labour mothers and generally┬áspeaking, would rather talk about the poor selection of madeira cake at the hospital canteen.

A ‘Maureen’ is an enigma in the Irish maternity services – one wonders why she’s allowed to be around expectant mothers when she clearly has no time for their nonsense nor questions surrounding where the actual fuck they might find their perineum.

Maureen would like you to give birth at the back of the green bin in your back garden if at all possible – whatever it takes for you to NOT RING THE HOSPITAL WHEN YOU GO INTO LABOUR.

You know who I’m talking about, don’t you?

Enjoy this comedy skit, my lovelies, there are lots more video to come!

*On a personal note, I LOVED my antenatal classes in Holles Street Maternity Hospital – especially when I went for a refresher day course when pregnant on Eva.

The lady who gave the class should actually have her own TV comedy show – it was around the time of the senior hospital staff salary ‘top ups’ scandal and she started the antenatal class with this;

“Welcome to Holles Street Hospital, where we are not allowed to ask for a coffee top up at the staff canteen any more. We must ask for a REFILL”.

I mean, you wouldn’t want to be heavily pregnant and in danger of breaking your waters, would you?

If you have any great antenatal class stories to share, we’d love to hear them over on our Facebook Page!