Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Vagina

Kegel Exercises. Def: “repetitive contractions by a woman of the muscles that are used to stop the urinary flow in urination in order to increase the tone of the pubococcygeal muscle especially to control incontinence or to enhance sexual responsiveness during intercourse”

Ok, so Kegels are important, (A), to stop you from pissing yourself and (B), to stop you from saying things like ‘Are you in yet?” (yes, sometimes that isn’t always to do with the size of whatever you are welcoming into your vajayjay…who-da-thunk-it?)

So if they’re so important, why can’t I remember to do them? I was REALLY bad during my last pregnancy and hardly did any Kegels at all, and although I vowed to get onto it with a vengeance as soon as Eva was two weeks old, she’s now four weeks old and I’m still talking myself around.

But now I have a plan. I realized that I needed a daily reminder, some sort of trigger that would remind me to get on with the business of squeezing those muscles for a couple of minutes at a time. Would it be every time that I showered? Well, that isn’t likely to happen regularly with a newborn in the house. When I brushed my teeth? Couldn’t rely on it. How about whenever I got to eat my lunch? As it happens, I can’t remember the last time I ate lunch, and if I did eat lunch recently, I couldn’t tell you what was on the menu.

No, I have now aligned my Kegel time to my ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ time. I have always sang  songs to Jacob since I was pregnant with him, and at almost three years of age, he still insists on my singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star before he goes for his daily nap, and before he goes to bed at night. If I sing three renditions and think I’m finished, he raises his sleepy head from his pillow and insists, ‘Mammy. More Tinkle Stor’.

Thanks to all that, I am now Kegeling twice a day. Every time I open my mouth, I close my…well, my other end.  I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before, as the timing of the song is actually perfect. Try it:

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (SQUEEZE IN!)

How I Wonder What You Are (SQUEEZE OUT!)

Up Above The World So High (SQUEEZE IN!!)

Like a Diamond In The Sky (SQUEEZE OUT!!) (*though I always spaz out here and wonder if that’s where Rihanna got her inspiration for ‘Shine Bright Like A Diamond’. Always).

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (SQUEEZE IN!!)

How I Wonder What You Are (SQUEEZE OUT!)

You’re welcome. I think I’ll bring a fitness video out for Xmas…. ;o)

Sharyn xxx

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