As parents, does our child’s gender give us the right to dictate who they should be?
No, of course it doesn’t. So why do so many parents feel it is their child bearing right to dictate who their child should be because they are a boy or a girl? I have witnessed little boys pushing prams down a toy isle in a store, to see fathers snatch it away from them, as though it was sealing some sort of homosexual fate for their son’s future. Mothers, directing their daughters out of the toy isle with the toy cars, whilst quipping “these are for boys”.
Our son Leon has a colourful array of clothing, and he even has a purple buggy and pram…. will this make him gay? No. And if he does turn out to be so, then what? Well, then nothing. Because once he is happy, healthy, respects others and has a kind heart then what more could any selfless parent want?
I have known people in my lifetime, gay friends, who because of how their family would react, have said to me, “I am gay, but I will marry a girl”.
That then, is an endless circle of ruined lives. The heart of this is surely insecurity within the parent? Which, in turn will create insecurity in your child.
Just because you have a son, this does not mean he has to play with toy cars, if he does not want to. And, maybe more importantly, if he wants to play with his sisters doll, let him. This won’t make your son gay, no more than a little girl who wants to play with toy trucks will make her any less of a girl.
Why then is it that so many parents have gender specific regulations for their children? Our children are surely going to grow up to become who they are meant to be regardless of whether they choose a boy, or a girls toy, or what colour clothes they wear. As a parent in today’s world, more than ever, I believe we do not have the right to push, or force our children to be who we want them to be. All that will do is cause friction in the parent and child relationship, and boost many an insecurity in your child’s self-esteem for many years into the future. As a mother, it is my duty (teamed with my unconditional love), to encourage and nurture my son’s personality, and to input values of kindness and respect. I am to discourage him from mistreating others, or disrespecting his parents and peers, and as he grows, deter him from any dark paths he meets along his journey.
We must encourage our children by making them feel safe, and keeping them healthy – mentally and physically. We can do all of this without dictating their lives to them, and there is such an huge difference between ‘encouragement’ and dictation.