Parenting Fail: When Your 5-year-old Has ALL The Cavities


Ass Monkey and I tried to go away for 5 minutes (well, 3 nights to be completely honest) and we came back to a bit of a shit-storm on the kid’s health front.

Firstly, young Eva had the reddest cheeks I’ve ever seen. She wasn’t a terribly narky baby when she first started getting teeth – we’d know that they were coming because she’d drool a lot or was a bit clingy for a few days – but aside from that, there were never any prolonged periods of wailing or being up during the night (unlike her big brother).

But this time, she’s getting the dreaded back teeth and to add insult to injury – she also seems to be getting ALL of them at once.

When we arrived home just over a week ago, Eva ran for her daddy as she always does and pretty much hasn’t let go of him since. The pair of them have been up together pacing the house every single night since we came back  and we just can’t wait until this crappy bit is over.

Jacob (my son, moon and stars) ran for me and promptly let me know that he had a pain in his back tooth.

We tried to get a good look at it, mostly unsuccessfully, but we could see that it was pretty black looking back there.

My mum, who had been minding the kids, let us know that he had been complaining about it all week and she’d called our family dentist who was all booked up the following day.

But they did mention a HSE clinic in Skerries which I knew nothing about, and Alan popped up on spec with Jacob the next morning.

They weren’t entirely happy to see someone with no appointment but obliged regardless.

Our son, our 5-year-old had not one, not two, jesus, not even three – but FOUR cavities thanks to our pal, SUGAR.

Jacob won’t forget that visit in a hurry

Alan said that Jacob was pretty terrified as he had his tooth ‘fixed’ in the dentist chair (no drilling these days, thankfully) and he was given quite a positive talking to about laying off the sweets and better dental health.

I’ve always been ok with cakes and buns, particularly because we bake them at home and it’s nice to test the work afterwards (!) but there are other failures that I know are responsible for Jacob’s poor dental health;

1: Grandad And His Lollipops: The likelihood that Grandad gives Jacob 2 or more lollipops every time he sees him is a real possibility. He has been duly shamed about the holes in our son’s gob and is now throwing fivers at him instead. Win-win.

2: Relaxed Attitude About Teeth Brushing: The kids both brush their teeth in the bath, and they have a bath almost every evening – but have I been properly supervising them to make sure they are really, REALLY brushing their teeth? No, I’ve been on my phone or dressing beds or pairing socks. So WE have been duly shamed too and are operating as the Tooth Brushing Police henceforth.

See what happens when you’re a parent and you’re off trying to enjoy yourself? Disaster!

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