It’s been ten years since I published a book. TEN YEARS.

I don’t know where it’s gone. I don’t know where I’ve been. I don’t know what’s happened.

A woman I mention this to throws an arm over my shoulders, stares off into the distance and gently whispers, ‘Motherhood is what’s happened’, like we are just out of the trenches, back from battle.

She is just shy of throwing a ciggie into my gob and pouring us both a neat whiskey (which I could really go for right now tbh).

I’m still muddling through my feelings about it all – did I lose myself? Did I give myself over fully to my family and just park everything? No, that can’t be right, because it’s been FUN, right? And hard work, and rewarding, and all I ever wanted, and nothing like I expected – exhilarating, exhausting, nerve-racking, endlessly entertaining.

Right?

Well, of course, it’s just that whenever we mothers thought we might do something for ourselves; something nice, something.. selfish… the tendency has always been to park that if a family member has other needs that seem somewhat more important than our own. And especially when those family members are cute little ones.

But mine are getting a little more grown up now. They don’t wake me up at 5am for Shreddies and Paw Patrol re-runs any more or need my attention all day. They don’t sneak into my bed in the middle of the night for cuddles, sending my heart soaring but my back into spasms. They play independently, they walk the dogs without me.. they can make toast!

One day last summer, with that extra bit of time on my hands to have a cup of tea alone and ponder life’s mysteries.. I had an unexpected jolt to the soul. An invisible defibrillator was applied to my creative heart by the universe and I remembered with a bang –

I used to be a writer!

I’ve written almost every day since and have had so much rejection for my scripts it would make your eyes water but I am loving it. I am loving remembering who I am and what I was put on this earth to do. I am me again!

Newborns Are Awesome is the first in a series of children’s books that I have in the works. It charts the developmental phases of a newborn up to twelve months of age and is beautifully illustrated by the wonderful Sarah Marsh.

We are having a launch party at Skinny Batch Bakery on April 25th, hosted by Jennifer Stevens, Editor at the Sunday Times. All are welcome and the proceeds are going to the Gaza Paediatric Care Initiative.

RSVPs to info@raisingireland.com so we know how many cakes to make!