I love this, although I can’t entirely agree with the ‘Washing Baby’ one. Because sometimes, when you’re shopping in Arnotts, and that kid has shit himself so badly that it runs from the top of his delighted-with-himself head to the soles of his feet and his once pristine white babygro now resembles something inserted into bottles to make a pipe bomb – a baby wipe simply won’t do.

GET THE FOOKING HOSE OUT!