Shazzy’s 5 Top Tips For Digital Sanity in 2017

I don’t know whether you’ve heard, but I have been getting VERY grown up lately.

Having neglected my adulting duties for the past year while Ass Monkey and I frivolously threw  a wedding bash for ourselves in December, I kick-started 2017 with a plan to get my shit together.

There have been wardrobe overhauls, clear-outs, housework schedules, actual correspondence with the bank and even a request to PayPal to remove my mother’s credit card details from my account.

I mean, really, it was time.

A big part of my plan is to get on top of my digital life. Really, I’ve just been skimming the surface of my online accounts, my digital photos, my email accounts and apps.

My laptops and phones have consistently threatened to explode, resulting in my copying everything to an external hard drive about once every two years and then losing those digital hard drives.

In short, I’ve had no control or management over my online life. Which accounts for about 74% of my actual life, obviously.

But no more! I have a FOCUS now, ya see, and there are gonna be a few digital rules around here from now on.

Rules like;

  1. Get Over Yourself. The online world will not stop turning because you haven’t checked your phone for 20 minutes. The sooner you realise that, the less likely you will feel like live Tweeting about your Granny’s colonoscopy. Probably.
  2. No Phones After 9pm. If, like me, you check your phone for multiple social platforms, email correspondence as well as news and current affairs, the chances are your brain is fried come dinner time. Do yourself a favour and pick a cut-off point every evening. Mine is 9pm midweek when I put my phone down and forget about it ’til morning. Upside: I’m reading more books and sleeping a bit better. Downside: I missed really important updates about a road closure near our house last week that would have saved me a one-hour round trip. Them’s the breaks.
  3. Unsubscribe, Bitches. If, like me, you find yourself spending a LOT of time deleting mail-shots that you don’t even read.. then what’s the point of them? Just unsubscribe if you’re not excited to read them and save yourself some extra time back in your life. And Twitter notifications.. please jesus will someone tell me how I can stop all the Twitter notifications?!
  4. Clear Yo Shit Out. I cleared out 1000 emails between two accounts last week. I know, I should be ashamed of myself. But, ya know, I was keeping stuff to ‘read later’.. about two years ago. I have made a solemn promise to myself that I’m not allowed more than 20 unread emails EVAH. I have to open, read, delete. The end.
  5. Get The Pics And Vids Under Control. My iPhone is a disaster. It is constantly threatening to run out of storage despite my having paid for extra. It’s because I can’t stop with the photos and the videos, I know. So that’s a job for this week – upload them all to my laptop and then save them to an external hard drive so I can..

..oh wait, shit. Noooo… it can’t be done!!!

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