5 Ways I Am Failing At Planning Our Wedding (Part 1)

You may not have heard the news, but I am a promised woman (hard to believe, I know).

For precisely one year now, myself and Ass Monkey have upgraded our relationship status from ‘Surviving Parenthood’ to ‘Parenting While Planning A Wedding’.


Actually, that’s not entirely true. We got engaged and well, did precisely nothing about the whole wedding bit for ages.

A few things got in the way; our family business Dynamic Cater Care got crazy busy, I took a great new job at HerFamily.ie and both of the kids got the fucking chicken pox (it’s official title).

Just when things were starting to calm down after Christmas and we might have had some space to make plans, we took the deranged decision to hire some builders and let them have at a house extension on our home. You know, instead of just chilling out for a bit.

So as of January 8th of this year, we have been living out of bags at my parent’s home (which we are eternally grateful for, OF COURSE), and there has been little or no room for any major wedding decisions.


With 8 months to go to the ‘I Do’s’, I can safely say that we are in the total shits with regards to the following:

1. Registering The Marriage – yes, apparently it’s not good enough that our intent to get married is in our heads, we actually need to do some paperwork too. Will someone please do it for me?!

2. Wedding Rings – AKA persuading Ass Monkey that he does, in fact, need to wear one. The stubbornness is strong in that man.

3. The Dress – No, I didn’t ever dream of ‘the perfect wedding dress’ when I was a little girl and no, I still don’t have any idea what I want. There may be a little shopping trip to London planned with The Mammy next week so it might be ok. I’ve loads of time, right?! (gulp)


4. The Numbers – This wedding may well comprise me, Ass Monkey, the kids and the dog at this stage since we have yet to send out any actual invitations. Can’t we just do it by text?

5. The Honeymoon – Planning a honeymoon when you have kids throws up sets of problems that you obviously wouldn’t have to contemplate otherwise. We keep swinging from ‘Let’s go somewhere amazing and live it up while granny minds them!’ to ‘Oh god we couldn’t leave them for a week, we’d miss them too much!’ And so there the decision stays, unmade until inspiration strikes.


Are you planning on getting married this year? Share your planning stories with me – misery loves company!