Category Archives: Health & Wellbeing

My dog saved me from post-natal depression

In July 2010, I got my own way for probably the first time in my relationship with Ass Monkey. We got a puppy; a beautiful, tiny little white ball of West Highland Terrier fluff called Pearl. She was eight weeks old when we brought her home, and her terrified, palm-sized self shook as I held her to my chest all the way in the car. Thankfully, she had the decency not to shit or wee on me – I knew we already had an understanding.

Pearl

The first couple of weeks with her were not unlike having a newborn in the house. We woke to her cries during the night and would go to her little box of a bed in the sitting room, lift her out and hold her until she went back to sleep. I used this time to re-watch Will & Grace from start to finish (as if I needed an excuse). Once, during a particularly funny episode where Jack mistakes the real Cher for a drag Queen impersonator, Pearl placed her tiny paw on my arm and let out a contented sigh in her sleep, communicating that she trusted me and that I was her new protector. I am only slightly mortified to say that this tiny gesture moved me so much that I bawled my head off and whisper-promised to her that I would look after her forever. As if she understood English, which is both stupid from a ‘She was only 8 weeks old’ perspective and the fact that she’s a dog. I know.

By the following January, I was pregnant and Pearl was a great source of help and comfort to me. She kept me active by demanding to be walked around the great big football fields by our house and when I rested on the couch or in bed (she still slept in our bed every night in those days!), she snuggled right in beside the bump – warming me, protecting what was ours.

Not only did people ask me the usual questions when I was pregnant:

‘Oh my god did you plan it?’ (Ass Monkey and I aren’t married, but I was, you know 34)
‘What do you mean, you’re four months gone – do you not know how many weeks that is?’
‘You got a second hand cot? Did you know the use of secondhand mattresses leads directly to cot death?’

They also always asked: What are you going to do about Pearl??

At first, I used to stutter and blubber through my answers; ‘Oh we’re just going to keep a very close eye on her with the baby, she’s very kind natured, it’ll be fine’, etc. But then I started getting pissed off. What did that mean, what was I going to do about her? She was a tiny white puppy for christ’s sake, I’d think – not a f*cking paedophile. Eventually, just out of devilment, I used to look these questioners right in the eye and sincerely reply; ‘As soon as the baby comes along, we’re just going to have her put down. Thanks for asking’.

Pearl and Jacob having a nap

The day I went into labour, I wouldn’t leave the house for the hospital, until someone came to get Pearl. I was crying because I didn’t want to leave her. My mum was there, promising she wouldn’t leave until Ass Monkey’s sister came along to pick her up. It was arranged that Pearl would go on holidays for a week. At the end of that week, we were only just back with our little babba Jacob, and even though Ass Monkey’s sister had offered to take Pearl for longer, I wouldn’t have it & wanted her home. I lifted her up to see and sniff little Jacob in his moses basket and she wagged her tail. Phew, we all sighed – she doesn’t seem to want to eat him.

Twenty minutes later, she was scratching at the front door. Walkies. Twenty minutes after that, I figured out how to assemble the pram, put the baby in it, find my runners and get us all out the door. If I walked for five minutes that day, I was lucky. My body wasn’t quite able for it yet. But every day, Pearl stood at that door, and demanded to be walked. And even if I didn’t feel like it; even if had spent two hours crying because I was exhausted and felt overwhelmed; even if the house was upside down, my leggings were on inside out and the washing machine had leaked all over the floor – Pearl got walked.

When I think about it, and my emotional state generally, I think Pearl saved me. I had suffered with depression here and there over the years and really anticipated that it might kick in again after the baby was born. It didn’t happen. All those walks helped me to lose the baby weight, got me out of the house, forced some fresh air into my lungs, got me away from the trudge of working from home and noticing all those dirty corners that you think need cleaning (you don’t).

We of course kept a very close eye on Pearl when she was around Jacob, particularly when he started crawling because she was so freaked out!! These days, I mostly try to keep Jacob away from her, so that he doesn’t pull her tail/feed her chocolate/shove his toy cars up her arse. Mostly, they’re great friends. It’s just as well we didn’t have her put down after all ;o)

Jacob and Pearl

Birth By Denial

I have a countdown app on my phone. Normally it counts down to holidays, concerts on school nights and spa breaks that I accidentally put on the credit card. Things to look forward to as I obsessively click on the app in work, daydreaming of not being stuck under the desk. I should probably explain that last bit. I don’t tend to hide under my desk (very much) nor am I so large that I get trapped down there when I climb under to retrieve the last Reisen chocolate chew that has rolled, unceremoniously and unwrapped out of my carelessly discarded handbag. I’m a puppeteer, so I have a legitimate reason to be down there. And I have five good reasons to legitimately be daydreaming. Although I think the psychological term is chronic denial but hey, who wants to face up to reality here? Clearly not I!

Now the app is counting down to the birth of my first baby and today it reads 34 days. Thirty four feckin’ days? How did that happen? I have had a long time to get my head around the fact that we’re having a baby. Longer than most. I knew about a week before my period was due as one of our dogs burst into the bathroom when I was having a wee, sniffed the air and gave me the “Not Again” look. Dr. Dog, as we shall call him for the remainder of this article, lest his identity be uncovered and he gets hounded (pardon the pun) by This Morning for interviews, has done this on five previous occasions. Gone on to guard me with his tiny scruffy body and great big heart until I started to bleed and lose the pregnancies and cuddled me endlessly as I recovered.

See, I told you I had five good reasons to indulge in daydreaming and denial. The first miscarriage was shocking. We found out at a ten-week scan. Expecting to see our weeny baked bean in the womb, we instead saw an empty sack and a look of professional sympathy on the sonographer’s face that broke my heart into tiny pieces. I think I have loved my husband from the moment I first saw him but as he helped me dress after a series of invasive scans that day, I never felt so loved or cared for or protected.

And so over the next two years we kept trying, our hearts getting ever more bruised but growing stronger, together, every passing day. Falling pregnant was unbelievably easy but keeping the babies seemed impossible. Horribly, you have to wait until you have had your third miscarriage to see a specialist (even going privately, as we were) and at that stage my body and soul were ravaged. We adopted a policy of going on adventures to get ourselves through. A few days after the second miscarriage, I found myself flinging my broken heart and wobbly womb down a ski slope; after the fifth miscarriage (by which time we had every test under the sun and been diagnosed with unexplained infertility), we ran away and got married in New York and rode rollercoasters in the blistering Orlando sun. Always together, smiling through the tears.

We were lucky enough to have been referred to the Merrion Fertility Clinic where finally, we were treated with great compassion and respect. It wasn’t always the case. Between all the miscarriages, I had been seen in three different hospitals and honestly, the experiences ranged from being humiliating to down right callous. However, at the Merrion Clinic, we found a place where we had a voice, were listened to and were encouraged to try one more time before we thought about IVF.

We considered whether we could face another pregnancy at all and decided together that we could. One last time. But if it didn’t stick, we would forego IVF and keep adventuring.

Now, 35 weeks and 1 day later (36 weeks after we got married) we are expecting a baby girl who, as a I type, is sticking one of her feet, or is that a knee or a plump little baby bum (?) out from beneath my ribs.

Between the 6^th and 14^th week of my pregnancy I had a scan every week and then a scan every fortnight there after. At every scan she has made herself known and given us a wave. It’s her signature move. I threw up for five months, I developed SPD (pelvic pain), so have been limping for nearly four months and am fairly immobile now. Pamela Anderson called last week and asked for her boobs back. I have a wardrobe of the cutest baby clothes you have ever seen and a limited edition Bugaboo. I signed up for product testing and tested maternity jeans and stretch mark creams. I’m DEFINITELY pregnant. So I should have accepted by now that we are having a baby, shouldn’t I? But thirty four days is plenty to really start believing, isn’t it? And read the books I haven’t read and rub that oil in, down there, wherever it’s meant to go. Right?

Oh and then there’s one teeny tiny thing I should probably have told you. I lied to the countdown timer. Well, more like omitted to tell it I’m probably having a c-section. And, um, that means more like 27 days…. But that’s plenty of time, right? Right? Maybe I’ll ask Dr. Dog.

: ‘Dr. Dog’

: Mature mother in the making?!

Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, and this parent-led organisation are working extra hard to raise enough money to finish St. John’s Ward in Crumlin Children’s Hospital – that’s where some of our country’s sick kids receive cancer treatment. Read their press release below and if you can donate a couple of euro, please do. Sharyn xxx

Light It Up Gold

Who are we?

We are parents who have children with cancer, treated in St John’s Ward, Our Lady’s Children’s Hospital Crumlin. We represent children and families in treatment, those in remission and the heroes who lost their battle against this deadly disease. Since our children have no voice, we need to speak out for them. Whilst survival rates have improved, we need to challenge the perception that childhood cancer is rare and curable, and that little more needs to be done.

We are working in cooperation with the Children’s Medical Research Foundation (CMRF) to help raise funds to finish St John’s cancer ward in Our Lady’s Children’s Hospital, Crumlin. Funding is needed to replace the inadequate facilities with a modern and properly resourced ward fit for the 1200 children who are treated in the cancer unit every year, and to support the excellent staff that are caring for our children in substandard conditions.

www.lightitupgold.ie There is an idonate button on the website lightitiupgold.ie to direct any funding towards the CMRF.

Events Details:

The week will culminate with the “Golden Ball” on the 7^th September 2013 at the Gibson Hotel Dublin. It is a gold themed night of dinner and dancing with a charity raffle. Tickets are E60 with all proceeds going to CMRF for St John’s cancer ward Crumlin.

In Letterkenny, Co Donegal a Family Day will take place on Sat. 7th of Sept at Bernard McGlinchey Town Park, from 3-5pm. There will be fun events for all the kids such as hip-hop, art workshop, mini races, bouncing castle, assault course, face and nail painting, cup cake stand etc. This event is open to general public; however, we are hoping that families affected by childhood cancer from the North West Region, north and south of the border, will attend. It will culminate in our children releasing GOLD balloons to celebrate the end of a successful campaign.

Buildings Details

Dublin: The Mansion House, Smithfield, Dublin Conference Centre, St Patrick’s Cathedral, Temple Bar, The O2, Capita Pensions Building, Bank of Ireland, Aras Chronain, Clondalkin

Other buildings around the country include:

Cork: Firkin Crane, Cork Opera House, Cobh Cathedral.

Galway: G Hotel, The Doors statue, Eyre Square, the Town Hall Theatre, Nun’s Island Theatre.

Donegal: Buncrana – Castle Bridge, the Roundabout, “Bun-cranncha” sign and the Council Offices, Letterkenny – the Polestar and An Grianán Theatre, Donegal Town – Public Service Centre, Milford – Public Service Centre

Derry: City Council Offices, Clock Tower, Guildhall.

A number of schools around the country are lighting up gold or organising gold themed events, such as arts and crafts and civvies days, with students, during the first week of September. Several workplaces and community centres are also organising coffee mornings and other events to mark childhood cancer awareness month. Please contact us at info@lightitupgold.ie if you would like more information about the campaign.

All funds raised should be directed to CMRF via the idonate button on the website www.lightitupgold.ie.